Where's the love these days ?

The house is so quiet, it's grey outside, with a hint of blue.
It is the color I feel my soul is.
Changing with every wind or time of day.
One color to the next.
Morning can be vibrant like water falls of orange and pink,
By day, the sun shining with a bright blue sky, and
The evening it's a mountain of violet.
This could be, if the dim and grey didn't come by everyday.
It all depends on what the winds display
At night it's always black with sparkles of light everywhere.
The dark sky is the Struggle, fear and guilt.
The stars represent dreams of which I wish upon myself.
But The moon is the hope for tomorrow.

In some of our own worlds it's never bright, but always grey and dark.

Another suicide in our community, that's three since the new year. We need to tell our young people that there is something better out there for them. There isn't much to see but rez dogs and drunks walking around.
Most of our parents are mean, not really caring or just drunks. They loves us, but they have their own problems and we aren't number one. There isn't much hope when we look around at the other people in the community either. We get the great opportunities as much as others but it's hard for a native out there. Raised around parties, welfare and teen pregnancies. Our culture is in the ground these days and everyone puts us down. \We are poor, uneducated and alcoholics by the time we're 20.
To just be very honest, natives hardly ever go anywhere with their lives, there is probably 1 out of 10 chance that we will go to college to do something useful with our lives. It doesn't make sense to try and prove the whites wrong, because we will always will be put down and be labeled as free loaders or drunks.
 Our towns have to be run by the white people because we're too busy complaining about treaty rights that were taken away a long time ago. It was our land to begin with, and now it's filled with immigrants. The government already gives us money to look after our kids. Well how is that suppose to help our name, we are made to look like charity cases and we are given less than the refugees, who are just trying to get our country destroyed by terrorists. but they get pity and we get discrimination, it's so sickening.
 People drink way too much around all northern communities, it's as if it's God. It is making our minds sick, the devils consuming our bodies when we drink it. It's easier for the devil to take over the weak and innocent child, over a more wise adult. Our generations of family have had a history of alcoholism since the whites introduced it to us and it just got used for forgetting the pain when the Residential schools came in place. When you see mommy drink, you want to drink too, is that hard to get but some don't always want to be like mommy. So if daddy's good maybe that will make a difference in the family tree. It's not hard to get. The amount of abuse it brings into peoples lives hurt the hearts of children, all the bad in life hurt when it's hard to forgive.
Religion was taken away from the young people, no body teaches it no more. Some may not believe in it, but it gives you a kind of hope for a good day when you do something good. like karma. I believe in karma more than anything.
There isn't enough good in this world everything is being taken over by evil. There isn't no forgiveness, teaching or stable homes anymore.
The youth feel like when we are gone from this world and our hearts stop...
We will have no more pain, no more troubles, no more worries.
We will never have to cry again or wish for a different life.
We won't have to bring our knees to our face to control our breathing, no more locking ourselves in the bathroom!
We won't have to wipe our tears over and over or worry about what tomorrow will bring.
We won't have to figure out how to fix it or have the pressure of the future.
The scars have no affect over her life anymore, the pain is gone and it was probably given to the people who cared and were there. But it doesn't matter because she is gone, it's not her problem anymore.

Why would any one want to live when they are constantly put down, hit or treated unfair. We can not be hard hearted all the time, and not care about it. Sure there are many things to live for and they know it too, They just feel like it's not worth it anymore! They know it can be much worse but shouldn't it be better then the worser ? Shouldn't we be happy when we have homes with a mom and food ? the question is why aren't we? We are missing the communication, the LOVE!!! Where's all the love these days?? the hugs?? the good mornings and goodnights ?? the I love you my girl?? why can't we hear our mom say I love you and believe it for once in our lives. If I had that? I wouldn't even care if I lived in a box somewhere, as long as I had the love of others i'd feel okay.

Feelings are just a face book status, a cry for help no body takes seriously. We want to make things better but when we say that all people do is talk or give lectures about the past and how they over came "the almost exact same thing." Where's the after school support group or the weekend check ups, the homes for which all the brothers and sisters of the foster care system can live with one another. \I want to see action for our youth, not the pitiful words from these adults these days. MY generation needs a rescuer and it won't be coming from our moms and dads, It Has To Be Us.  We are the new, we get it, we know how one another feel, and it is so more complex than you think. The other generations feel like it's just the same as when they were kids but it's not, the worlds different. It's a lot more meaner, and tough. Way more dangerous and distractive. Filled evil, drugs and alcohol.
It hurts, its hurts so much not all of us have enough hope
not enough for one another
I can have hope, I gave up trying to give up my life.
I pasted that path, it's too late turn back
so I gotta go all the way to the end